[Mindless rambling 12- part 2]
Most people assume that Filial Piety(孝) is simply obeying parents, making sure that they are well-fed when them are old. But in actual fact, they is much all to it.
Giving our parents money is how most of us trying to be filial towards our parents nowadays. However, that is what Confucian has warned against thousand of years ago. He said: "Most people think that being filial is to support our parents. However, we can do the same to dogs and horse (like pets). Without 敬(Jing, commonly translated as respect), how do we differentiate them?" As for the specific showing of this "Jing", Confucian made this comment when one of students queries about Filial piety.: "The difficulty is with the countenance. When their elders have any troublesome affairs, the young take the toil of them; When the young have wine and food, they set them before their elders. Is any of THIS to be considered filial piety?" As one can see, the feeling of respect is not just being held in our heart, it must be shown. Of course, one would say why the trouble. But I guess girls will understand this feeling, who always want their BF to show their love them rather than just having it. Is that all about filial piety? No. There is more to it.
The first thing to filial piety, is to take good care of yourself. As the ancient believed that our hair and body is a gift from our parents, taking care of it is to treasure their love and be filial (Thus ancient Chinese consider cutting the hair and tattoo the body as a mutilation to this gift and thus being not to filial). The second thing is to present yourself appropriately when you are outside your house, interacting with people. Simply because you actions represent your upbringing and how well your parents have taught you. If one do something disgraceful, it will reflected that your parents didn't really do a good job and thus shaming them. In Chinese language, we may scold someone as 沒家教 (not properly brought up) . It may seems normal when translated to English, but that is really a harsh and offensive remark to the Chinese as it is shaming a family. This are the foundation of Filial piety which is easily forgotten.
When someone asked Confucian what is Filial Piety, he said "When our parents, when alive, be served according to propriety; that, when dead, they should be buried according to propriety; and offering should be made them to according to propriety." Thus Filial Piety is continuous, from live, to dead, to afterlife. But why? What is the base of it? To put it plain, it is the acceptance of love and the reciprocity of it. We are loved unconditionally by our parents before we are born, taken care of when are weak and feeble. Is this loved be take for granted? Ancient Chinese to talk about feeling. How love to be felt and how it can to reciprocate back. After their passing, feelings of appreciations and loved will still being shown. As mentioned in previous, people may see that the "Living among living" , consistent offerings as superstitious, but isn't it good to believed that our loved one are still around us in other form of existence, loving us like the Movie Ghost (The main theme of the movie is Unchained Melody if it rings a bell)? There is this phrase in Chinese "信則有，不信則無" (If you believed in the existence of something, it will exist. If you don't believed it, it simply won't exist). Whether something factual exist is secondary. The most thing is whether we believed.
As an ending note, I shall share something interesting. During one of the offering rituals/ ceremony to the ancestors, the Grandson will wear a mask and play the persona of the ancestors, arriving to the offering site. He will have the honor to feast on the offerings and being serve by the family (Which are his elder obviously). It may seems funny, but it serve an education purpose. By serving the Grandson (playing the persona of the ancestor) they are telling the kid though action: "This is the way you should serve your parents". On side note the 成語 (Chinese idioms) 尸位素餐 is related to this ritual. The idiom means taking up a certain position and enjoying the benefit brought by it, yet one did not fulfill its obligation. 尸 is the formal term for the role that plays the personification of the ancestor. Since the kid is only playing the role of ancestor (Thus not doing what the ancestor is suppose to do -guiding the family ) and yet he enjoys the benefits of an ancestor (though its for a day), you can see why this idioms is formed
Giving our parents money is how most of us trying to be filial towards our parents nowadays. However, that is what Confucian has warned against thousand of years ago. He said: "Most people think that being filial is to support our parents. However, we can do the same to dogs and horse (like pets). Without 敬(Jing, commonly translated as respect), how do we differentiate them?" As for the specific showing of this "Jing", Confucian made this comment when one of students queries about Filial piety.: "The difficulty is with the countenance. When their elders have any troublesome affairs, the young take the toil of them; When the young have wine and food, they set them before their elders. Is any of THIS to be considered filial piety?" As one can see, the feeling of respect is not just being held in our heart, it must be shown. Of course, one would say why the trouble. But I guess girls will understand this feeling, who always want their BF to show their love them rather than just having it. Is that all about filial piety? No. There is more to it.
The first thing to filial piety, is to take good care of yourself. As the ancient believed that our hair and body is a gift from our parents, taking care of it is to treasure their love and be filial (Thus ancient Chinese consider cutting the hair and tattoo the body as a mutilation to this gift and thus being not to filial). The second thing is to present yourself appropriately when you are outside your house, interacting with people. Simply because you actions represent your upbringing and how well your parents have taught you. If one do something disgraceful, it will reflected that your parents didn't really do a good job and thus shaming them. In Chinese language, we may scold someone as 沒家教 (not properly brought up) . It may seems normal when translated to English, but that is really a harsh and offensive remark to the Chinese as it is shaming a family. This are the foundation of Filial piety which is easily forgotten.
When someone asked Confucian what is Filial Piety, he said "When our parents, when alive, be served according to propriety; that, when dead, they should be buried according to propriety; and offering should be made them to according to propriety." Thus Filial Piety is continuous, from live, to dead, to afterlife. But why? What is the base of it? To put it plain, it is the acceptance of love and the reciprocity of it. We are loved unconditionally by our parents before we are born, taken care of when are weak and feeble. Is this loved be take for granted? Ancient Chinese to talk about feeling. How love to be felt and how it can to reciprocate back. After their passing, feelings of appreciations and loved will still being shown. As mentioned in previous, people may see that the "Living among living" , consistent offerings as superstitious, but isn't it good to believed that our loved one are still around us in other form of existence, loving us like the Movie Ghost (The main theme of the movie is Unchained Melody if it rings a bell)? There is this phrase in Chinese "信則有，不信則無" (If you believed in the existence of something, it will exist. If you don't believed it, it simply won't exist). Whether something factual exist is secondary. The most thing is whether we believed.
As an ending note, I shall share something interesting. During one of the offering rituals/ ceremony to the ancestors, the Grandson will wear a mask and play the persona of the ancestors, arriving to the offering site. He will have the honor to feast on the offerings and being serve by the family (Which are his elder obviously). It may seems funny, but it serve an education purpose. By serving the Grandson (playing the persona of the ancestor) they are telling the kid though action: "This is the way you should serve your parents". On side note the 成語 (Chinese idioms) 尸位素餐 is related to this ritual. The idiom means taking up a certain position and enjoying the benefit brought by it, yet one did not fulfill its obligation. 尸 is the formal term for the role that plays the personification of the ancestor. Since the kid is only playing the role of ancestor (Thus not doing what the ancestor is suppose to do -guiding the family ) and yet he enjoys the benefits of an ancestor (though its for a day), you can see why this idioms is formed
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